Look Within

She sits silently in the corner of her room, her chin resting on her knees, arms wrapped tightly around her legs.

The hallway light creeps underneath the closed door and coats a small portion of the otherwise dark carpet with an amber tincture. She traces the glowing contour with her eye from one end to the other and back again. It’s the only thing she sees in this vague world.

The cries from her newborn she no longer perceives. Although aware that the weeping exists, her ears concede and filters it out, leaving nought but the deafening silence of an empty space. Before too long, she feels the consequence of her own cries trickle along her cheek, obliviously wailing in near-perfect unison with her hungry daughter.

She knew he was trouble from the moment she met him. But there was something so appealing about his harsh charisma that she fell blind to his faults. Many of her friends warned her against him, yet she chose to look outside their subjective viewpoints. She so desperately wanted the bad boy.

When she was with him she felt like she was the only woman in the world; the single source of seduction for his prevailing heart. He held her close and whispered her promises she’d only ever dreamed of hearing. She accepted every one of his idealistic words, and in return offered him her soul.

He took her soul. It remains with him to this day.

Seven months after she first shared the news with him, she wonders what she ever did to deserve this outcome. Her pleads for him to return have fallen unnoticed. The endless attempts to contact him have left her with an infinite ache deep within her being. The stories she hears of his forays with other women leaves her nauseous and vulnerable. The guilt-laden memories of the past offer little hope for the future. Tonight, and for the rest of her life as far as her heart is concerned, she remains alone and together with her tiny bundle of joy. The only thing that keeps her going.

As her child’s weeping falls to a dull whimper, so does the sound of her own sobs. Not wishing to unsettle the baby, she fires a piercing scream from her heart to the universe one last time, demanding to know when her stolen spirit will be restored.

Little does she realise, her prayers had already been heard loud and clear.

He was the one who encouraged her to pursue her newfound flame all those months ago, even though he secretly wished for her to be his warmth all along.

He was the one who took her out for coffee when he thought that she could do with a friend to talk to.

He was the one who gave her the little gifts whenever they met to help take her mind off the pain.

He was the one who offered those small words of encouragement when she needed it the most.

He was the one who supported her pregnancy and inspired her to go through with it.

He was the one who reassured her not to give in.

He was the one who made her laugh.

He was the one she least expected.

He was the one who could save her.

Sometimes you need to look within to find the love that you truly deserve.

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