Dan Schaumann

Official site of avid traveller and singer/songwriter, Dan Schaumann. Debut album "A Thousand Days Beneath The Sun" out now on CD and iTunes.

Posts Tagged ‘dating’

My Tinder experiment

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March 6th, 2015 Posted 8:55 pm

Of all the online dating platforms I’ve come across, Tinder (in my opinion) has proven by far to be the most difficult to meet girls on.

For those who may not know what Tinder is, it’s a matchmaking app based almost entirely on the premise of appearance and attractiveness. After you’ve created a profile (photos + a brief description), set a radius (the geographical distance surrounding you where you’d like your matches to be located), and your age/orientation, you’re offered photos of potential suitors who fit your specifications. It is up to you to either swipe their photos to the right if you like the look of them, or swipe to the left if you don’t.

Meanwhile, your own photo is offered to scores of fellow Tinder users and the same logic applies to them: if they like the look of you, they swipe right; if they don’t, they swipe left.

Whenever two people swipe right on each other, they become a ‘match’ and they gain the ability to chat to each other via text. The future of the relationship is entirely down to the conversation that follows. Ultimately, a mutually enjoyable conversation will lead to a real-life meetup, and from there, who knows? Tinder’s penchant for superficiality leads it towards a reputation of being more suited to casual sex & hookups as opposed to meaningful partnerships, although some matches have been known to lead to marriage.

Anyway, I’ve been using Tinder half-heartedly for probably 18 months now. I’ve always maintained a fairly standard profile similar to this one:

 

TInder Normal Profile

 

Trouble is, aside from the occasional evil spambot, I hardly ever received any matches. It would often take me a couple of hundred swipes right to finally be paired up with someone willing to chat, and even then the chances of them replying or sustaining any kind of interesting conversation was minimal-to-none. I guessed that a selfie like this ranked as ‘BORING… NEXT!’ on the Tinder factor. If chatting wasn’t difficult enough, the prospect of ever meeting someone though Tinder seemed virtually impossible.

So I had an idea. Why don’t I periodically change my Tinder profile picture to something totally ridiculous to see if I can gain a better reaction and actually chat with some girls?

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Posted in Blog, Dating

Awkward dates (part 2)

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October 19th, 2014 Posted 8:19 pm

A while ago I wrote a post called Awkward Dates, where I recounted three scenarios from years gone by that could potentially have led to romance but instead ended up, well, a little awkward and unsuccessful.

Not much has changed over the past 17 months so I figured it was about time I posted an update of two more recent experiences, plus a long-forgotten gem from the past. Bear in mind I’ve chosen to only write about people who I no longer have any form of contact with – believe me, if it wasn’t for that, I’d have enough material to write part 3 as well. Maybe I’ll do that next year.

If you haven’t read it yet, I recommend you cast your eyes over my original post first before you continue on here to the second instalment of AWKWARD DATES.

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Michtoneuse

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March 16th, 2014 Posted 2:36 am

About a week ago I started talking to a random girl on Craigslist. I didn’t know a thing about her – not even her name, age or what she looked like – but we made plans to meet at the cinema to see a documentary called Tim’s Vermeer. We met, and thankfully she turned out to be a fairly attractive Chinese girl most likely in her early 30’s; a real estate agent with a bubbly, outgoing personality who moved to Toronto with her parents when she was quite young.

Being the gentleman that I am, I bought her the ticket to the movie. She was thankful and promised to pay back the favour by purchasing us both a post-film beverage. We had a small amount of time to chat before the movie started (I thought it went quite well), and the documentary itself ran for around 80 minutes.

The film ended and the credits rolled. But instead of going out for that drink as promised, she pissbolted out of that cinema as quickly as she could, claiming she had to “check on her car” she’d parked on a nearby street. I may have understood her conundrum if it weren’t for the fact she’d told me she lived in an apartment right next door to the cinema. Her story didn’t make much sense. Why would she have driven to the cinema and parked on the street if she resided barely a hundred metres away?

I haven’t heard from her since.

Anyway… I told this story to my French friend Inès at work the next day, and she immediately labeled her as a michtoneuse: a slang French term for a girl who takes advantage of a guy by soliciting him for a date and then getting him to pay for everything.

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Awkward dates

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May 12th, 2013 Posted 8:07 pm

From the nervousness of the high school prom to the friend-of-a-friend setup; from the cute girl you share a glance with at the bar to the mystery of online romance, dating is something most of us go through with varying degrees of success. It has the ability to induce such a wide range of emotions and outcomes: butterflies, connection, flirtation and lustful embrace, all the way through to boredom, disparity, false advertising and just plain awkwardness. I think we can all agree that some dating experiences are made up of the sweet ingredients you can’t get enough of, whereas others seem to throw the odd sprinkle of pepper into the mixture. It sure is an interesting time to be single and on the market!

I’ve had some brilliant dates over the years but I’ve also had some shockers. I’ve been reminiscing on the latter recently and I came to the realisation that even though a date may not go quite as planned, they’re actually the ones that leave me with the greatest sense of amusement later on down the track. So I decided to share my top three memorable dating scenarios where it’s all gone horribly wrong (for the record, I’m no longer in touch with any of them and no names will be mentioned).

I may not have felt so good about the outcome at the time, but I look back on them all now with a tonne of fondness and I actually hope there are many more wacky encounters like these to come 🙂

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The Cytogeneticist

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February 12th, 2012 Posted 9:51 pm

She lived only a few miles away from him and had spent the majority of her childhood in this southern London district. She was as captivated by his upbringing in a tropical antipodean climate as he was of hers in cold and wintry surroundings. He thought it cute how she named her puppy after Gonzo, the big-nosed blue character from the Muppets, and he loved the way she hinted how they may one day lay beneath warm covers watching romantic films together. Although his interest in said genre was normally lacking, he honestly couldn’t wait to spend such a night in with his newfound flame.

Above all, the most attractive feature he saw in her was that she was studying to be a cytogeneticist.

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