Dan Schaumann

Official site of avid traveller and singer/songwriter, Dan Schaumann. Debut album "A Thousand Days Beneath The Sun" out now on CD and iTunes.

My weirdest online rejection so far


January 3rd, 2015 Posted 10:11 pm

Believe me, it’s been a cutthroat world on the dating scene since I moved to Montreal.

My horrible excuse for a love life in Toronto was heartbreaking enough, but Montreal takes it to a whole new level despite only having been here a little less than three weeks.

Let’s face it: I’m bored, I have no friends and I’m pretty goddamn lonely so I’ve naturally ramped up my online dating presence in an effort to meet some new people. I’m not to expecting to meet the girl of my dreams. I’m not expecting any kind of fairytale romance; I’m not expecting to get laid; I’m not expecting to be doted upon by Canada’s Next Top Model for heavens sake – all I want right now is to meet new people, you know? Expand my social circle. Make acquaintances. Find someone to go out for coffee with on cold winter days. Is that too much to ask for?

I guess you can sense my frustrations, and I’m not gonna go into the details of all the Montreal online encounters I’ve had so far (which, for the record, has involved 50+ sent messages across various platforms, resulting in two meetups that may well feature in my next instalment of Awkward Dates). I do, however, want to mention one exchange that really got to me about half an hour ago as I checked my messages. I’d been PM’ing a local girl on Reddit for the past week, who had posted a thread titled ‘Date me!” Our conversation had been happy, fun, a little flirty – just the right balance of getting to know one another without giving too much away.

I asked her out for a coffee this weekend!

I suggested we go to Cafe des Chats, a cat cafe not far from home, because hey, cats are fun (in small doses) and girls like cats.

“Coffee (or tea for you!) sounds lovely.” she said. (See? She even knew I was a tea fanatic!) “Never been to Cafe des Chats, but I’ve been meaning to! 🙂 Does 2 or 3pm work for you? You think we can exchange pics beforehand? Don’t really have the nerves for completely blind dates.”

“Of course,” I replied, here is a pic of me. I’m a pretty big fan of Great Big Sea and I got to meet Alan Doyle recently while he was promoting his autobiography, I was stoked to get a photo with him. Feel free to send a pic back! So if I pass the photo test, how about 2pm tomorrow at the cafe? :)”

I wanted to meet this girl. It’s rare to establish an enjoyable email exchange like the one we had going. I was definitely curious.

I thought quite carefully about which picture to send her. I have a lot to choose from, but I specifically settled upon this one because it shows my interests, it’s a face + body shot, I feel like it’s a decently attractive pose, it includes the very awesome Alan Doyle from Great Big Sea, and altogether I think it sums me up pretty well.

Four hours later, this is what I got in response:


Reddit Rejection

Aw, nice photo. You certainly pass…but I have to be brutally honest, you remind me a lot of my ex it’s eerie. Beyond sharing the same name, you look A LOT like him. I’m so sorry, I know this is an incredible shallow reason not to want to get to know someone, but it’s bothering me that I’m even thinking about him in any capacity right now. It was a real pleasure speaking with you these last couple of days and I’m sorry I’m being weird. I wish you well.


Ummmmmm… ARE YOU SERIOUS? Am I really that unattractive? Or is this actually a thing?

If anyone can explain what the fuck this rejection is supposed to mean, I’d sure appreciate it.


This entry was posted on Saturday, January 3rd, 2015 at 10:11 pm and is filed under Blog, Dating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

4 Responses to “My weirdest online rejection so far”

  1. Leanne :)
    10:30 pm on January 3rd, 2015

    Dan……I think you may be reading too much into it…..consider just for a second it MAY be true…..you know a little of my history with a heartbreaking Irishman…..a cute guy eyed me off at a gig one night…..came over for a chat….then opened his bloody mouth and out came an Irish accent!!! The reminder and familiarity of heartbreak can make you shudder and back off, especially if there are unresolved feelings on her part…..I TOTALLY get what this girl means!!!! (But of course, she may just be a SILLY BITCH!!!!! lol) Maybe just just wants an instant “PHWOAAAAR” feeling when she sees a guys photo before she meets him (immature and shallow as that is) Keep doing what you’re doing Dan, and be true to yourself…you’re thoughtful, deep, caring, attractive – and a bloody great singer/songwriter….just ask your mum! Love ya guts buddy!

  2. Dan Schaumann
    11:34 pm on January 3rd, 2015

    Thanks Leanne. Yeah, I sure know of your penchant for the Irish! I don’t really get why you’d be put off just because someone reminds you of an ex though, cause they’re not your ex! I dunno… I can’t say I’ve been in that situation before, but if I was, I don’t think it’d be a reason to avoid them. Anyway. NEXT…!

  3. Ben McCabe
    4:26 am on January 4th, 2015

    Mate it’s a serious numbers game the online dating scene. I too can give you some cringe worthy dates, there’s plenty of nutters out there for sure!
    I’d be joining a local club or community organization of some sort, make some friends through there then expand your circle from there.
    Or you could do what advantage you have over others and get the guitar out, line up a gig at your local and get talking between sets. Womens love a guy who can play the guitar. But some confidence is key too! Fake it till you make it with the confidence.
    You’ll get there mate!

  4. Dan Schaumann
    9:05 am on January 4th, 2015

    Yeah you’re right Ben, it’s definitely a numbers game. As far as online goes, I’ve got it to around 1 in 25 in terms of meetups, and out of them it’s 1 in 4 would meet again. I’ve met some of the most incredible people in my life via social networking so I won’t give it up any time soon, but it still gets you down when you get a weird rejection from someone you thought you clicked with.

    Meeting people in the real world has a much different dynamic. I’m cool with it, but it’s more a matter of being in the right place at the right time and making a good first impression, which can be tough at times for the introverted types. I’ve done a few Couchsurfing meetups in the past which have been great fun so I might give that another shot (recommend it to you as well – a great way to meet people from around the world). As for my guitar… we have a weird relationship but we should probably see through our differences and get back out there 🙂

    Cheers mate… hope all is well with you.

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