Dan Schaumann

Official site of avid traveller and singer/songwriter, Dan Schaumann. Debut album "A Thousand Days Beneath The Sun" out now on CD and iTunes.

Michtoneuse

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March 16th, 2014 Posted 2:36 am

About a week ago I started talking to a random girl on Craigslist. Without even knowing a thing about her – not even her name, age or what she looked like – we made plans to meet at the cinema to see a documentary called Tim’s Vermeer. We met, and thankfully she turned out to be a fairly attractive Chinese girl most likely in her early 30’s; a real estate agent with a bubbly, outgoing personality who moved to Toronto with her parents when she was quite young.

Being the gentleman that I am, I bought her the ticket to the movie. She was thankful and promised to pay back the favour by purchasing us both a post-film beverage. We had a small amount of time to chat before the movie started (which I thought went rather well), and the documentary itself ran for around 80 minutes.

The film ended and the credits began to roll. But instead of going out for our drink as promised, she pissbolted out of that cinema as quickly as she could, claiming she had to “check on her car” she’d parked on a nearby street. I may have understood her conundrum if it weren’t for the fact she’d told me she lived in an apartment right next door to the cinema. Her story didn’t make much sense. Why would she have driven to the cinema and parked on the street if she resided barely a hundred metres away?

I haven’t heard from her since.

Anyway… I told this story to my French friend Inès at work the next day, and she immediately labeled her as a michtoneuse: a slang French term for a girl who takes advantage of a guy by soliciting him for a date and then getting him to pay for everything.

Michtoneuse. What an awesome word! It’s quite possibly the greatest foreign linguistic expression I’ve discovered so far this decade. I love how there’s not even an English equivalent – the closest I can think of is something like freeloader, but that applies to anyone who exploits the generosity of others, not specifically a woman sponging off a man whilst on a romantic outing. (For the record, I believe the male equivalent of a michtoneuse is a michtonner).

Which brings me to this evening when I was at a pub in Toronto’s westerns suburbs, catching up for a pint with my new friend Dani and some of her mates. At one stage I was waiting to be served at the bar when a lass sitting next to me (who introduced herself as Isabella) started chatting to me. Of course she heard my accent and immediately went into “impress the foreigner” mode, insinuating it would be a chivalrous gesture if I was to buy her a drink. She was half tanked, substantially older than me, and I wasn’t in the slightest bit interested in her, but despite my explanation that I was there to catch up with a friend and not to pick up randoms, what was I to do? Ignore her request and potentially cause a scene? I bought her a damn glass of Chardonnay and bade her farewell.

Two michtoneuse in the space of a week – what are the chances? Next time I meet a girl I swear I’m gonna tell her I accidentally left my cash at home.

 

Have you ever had a michtoneuse/michtonner encounter? Or have you acted as a michtoneuse/michtonner yourself? Let me know in the comments if you have!

 

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This entry was posted on Sunday, March 16th, 2014 at 2:36 am and is filed under Blog, Dating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

4 Responses to “Michtoneuse”

  1. Meg
    5:44 am on March 16th, 2014

    Wow! That is one heck of a story. I can’t even fathom why anyone would go out for the sole reason of letting someone else pay.. I’d rather go out to enjoy the company I’m with!

  2. Dan Schaumann
    11:03 am on March 16th, 2014

    Yeah I don’t understand either Meg! Maybe she did scoot off for a legitimate reason, or maybe she just didn’t like me, but either way I’m still calling ‘michtoneuse’ haha. It must be a popular thing to do in France seeing as they invented an actual word for it!

  3. Ines
    11:53 pm on March 17th, 2014

    I love this article. I am fan of you!!!!

  4. Dan Schaumann
    5:37 pm on March 18th, 2014

    Aw thank you Inès! You taught me the best foreign word ever, and I’m glad you’re a fan 😀

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