Dan Schaumann

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Mule, Neil, Rince and Sicker went for a Bath

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December 22nd, 2010 Posted 11:12 pm

I was chatting to my mate Sam at lunchtime today about the way we abbreviate people’s names, and it really left me thinking: why is it that we chop the last half off people’s names, and only ever shorten them to the first half?

For example: Samuel. Why do we call him Sam for short, but never Muel?
And my own name, Daniel. Why Dan, but never Niel?
Why Flo, and not Rence?
Why Jess, and not Sica?





Sure, you may think that Muel, Niel, Rence and Sica all sound ridiculous, having been shortened to the last half of their whole name, but why on earth then, is it socially acceptable for the ELIZABETH‘S in the world to be known as BETH?!


Imagine a world where it was the norm to abbreviate the last half of people’s first names!

Stine: “Hello Topher, would you like to have a look at the photos I took of Jamin and Elope’s wedding?”

Topher: “I’d love to, Stine! It’s a shame that Garet and I couldn’t make it.”

Stine: “This is Berly and Borah getting prepared, Antha was doing their makeup, do you know Antha?”

Topher: “Is Antha Athan’s ex?”

Stine: “That’s her, but now she’s with Thew. Thew made friends with Othy and Olas, but he got on Nard’s nerve a bit, and Cob didn’t think much of him either.”

Topher: “Was Est the best man?”

Stine: “No, Man was the best man. Briella was the bridesmaid.”

Topher: “Wow, Briella looked brilliant. And look at Cole, Ifer and Gela! But who is that?”

Stine: “She’s Mine.”

Topher: “And who is that?”

Stine: “She’s Line.”

Topher: “I don’t recall ever seeing Mine or Line before.”

Stine: “You should have met Mine, she’s friends with Rine, do you remember her at Phine’s party that time?”

Topher: “Of course! She was the one who had a thing for Ham, right?”

Stine: “That’s her – but Ham fobbed her off to Cob.”

Topher: “Nice looked nice didn’t she!”

Stine: “Phanie looked lovely too, did you know Riah did her hair?”

Topher: “Did Riah do Ryn’s hair as well?”

Stine: “No she didn’t, nor did she do Nor’s.”

Topher: “Is that Dan and Anna?”

Stine: “Yes, they came with Niel and Belle.”

Topher: “How did the ceremony go?”

Stine: “It was beautiful, Elope and Jamin both cried as they exchanged vows, and I also saw Stal cry. Elope’s ring was 19 carat gold.”

Topher: “19 carat? I hope Garet doesn’t expect that from me if I ever marry her. What about the reception, did Get get the bouquet?”

Stine: “Et and Lett were both so close, but Get did get the bouquet.”

Topher: “What music did they play?”

Stine: “Elope walked down the aisle to Talie King Cole, but throughout the reception they played songs by Derick Stewart, Lan Green, Topher DeBurgh and Athan Lennon.”

Topher: “Enny looked drunk!”

Stine: “Yes, Enny had too many, Line had too much wine and Tin had too much gin. Ille was the first to be ill the next morning, then it was Ter’s turn, but Sica was the sickest out of everyone.”

Topher: “It looks like it was a great wedding, I do wish Garet and I were able to have come.”

Stine: “You weren’t the only ones to miss out, Cine was nowhere to be seen either. Why couldn’t you make it?”

Topher: “I got called away for work and Garet came with me. They send me to a different city every few weeks.”

Stine: “What town did they give you?”

Topher: “I got Laide.”


So tell me, what’s the current abbreviation of¬†your name, if you have one? And what would it become if the opposite half of your name was the abbreviation instead?

Which do you prefer?

Let’s start a lution… err…¬†revolution!

Click here to show the translation of the above passage!

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010 at 11:12 pm and is filed under Blog, Weird. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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